Let’s be honest: most 1:1s are just two people sitting in a meeting trying to remember why they scheduled it in the first place.
When done right, 1:1s can build trust, unblock work, support growth, and surface problems before they blow up. When done wrong, they become a weekly ritual of awkward silence followed by “So… how’s everything going?” followed by both people silently counting down until it’s acceptable to say “well, I’ll let you get back to it.”
The good news? A few small tweaks can turn these meetings from calendar clutter into something actually useful.
1. Co-create the agenda
Showing up to a 1:1 without an agenda is like going to the grocery store without a list. You’ll wander around, grab some random stuff, and leave wondering what you actually needed.
A shared document where both people can add topics ahead of time changes everything. It shifts the meeting from “let me think of something to say” to “here’s what I actually want to talk about.”
Things worth adding:
- blockers or challenges
- recent wins (yes, you’re allowed to bring good news)
- feedback — giving or asking for it
- career stuff
- decisions that need input
You don’t need a fancy template. A simple Google Doc or Notion page works fine. The point is to show up with a direction, not a blank stare.
2. Rotate the focus
Trying to fit project updates, career growth, feedback, team dynamics, and life philosophy into 30 minutes every week is a recipe for shallow conversations about everything and deep conversations about nothing.
Instead, rotate the focus. Give each 1:1 a loose theme:
- one week: what’s blocking you, what’s the priority
- another week: career goals, learning, what’s next
- another: feedback, team vibes, motivation
Not every meeting needs to be a “complete” 1:1. Some weeks you just need to talk about the thing that’s on fire. That’s fine. The balance comes over time.
3. End with action items
Here’s a test: after your last 1:1, did anything actually change?
If the answer is “not really,” it might have been a nice chat — but probably not a useful one.
Ending with a quick recap helps. It doesn’t need to be formal. Just something like:
- “Okay so I’ll follow up on X, and you’ll think about Y?”
- “Let’s revisit this next week once we hear back.”
- “I’ll bring this up with the team.”
Even one clear takeaway makes the whole meeting more worthwhile. Otherwise, you’ll have the same conversation next week. And the week after. And the week after that.
4. Skip it if there’s nothing to discuss
I know, I know. 1:1s are sacred. You’re supposed to protect them at all costs. And in general, yes — consistency matters.
But you know what’s worse than skipping a 1:1? Having one where both people are just going through the motions because the calendar said so.
If there’s genuinely nothing to talk about — no blockers, no updates, no topics from either side — it’s okay to say “hey, want to skip this one?” That’s not neglect. That’s respecting each other’s time.
A 1:1 that gets skipped occasionally because it wasn’t needed is a sign things are working, not failing. A 1:1 that happens every week out of guilt? That’s the one to worry about.
Make 1:1s work for you
At the end of the day, 1:1s are just a tool. And like any tool, how useful they are depends on how you use them.
A few simple habits can make a big difference:
- share the agenda
- don’t try to cover everything every time
- leave with at least one clear next step
- skip the meeting when it’s not needed (yes, really)
1:1s should feel helpful, not heavy. Let’s make them work for us — not against us.